Bitesize guide: verifying new virtual friends

Many of us have virtual friends who we never meet in the real world but there are some online acquaintances who start a conversation with us with the intention of meeting us in 3D.

Meeting new people should always be fun; however, there are certain risks involved in meeting in person someone you have met online.  That is why it is important to verify the individual before your meeting.

The web is littered with trolls who, for various reasons, try to fool you into believing that they are someone else.  Do not fret.  Whether you are meeting up with an online crush or meeting someone who is selling you an item you have found from Gumtree you can use a few simple online tools to confirm someone’s online identity.

Search their name

It sounds glaringly obvious but many do not do this basic Google search. If the person gives you a full name, simply punch it in and see where else the name appears.  Include variations of their name for example, if they say their name is "Liz", try "Elizabeth", "Betsy", "Eliza", "Beth", or "Betty".

Strike a pose

One of the strongest ways of verifying someone is asking to send a picture with an item of your choice.  Ask your new virtual friend to send a photo of the them holding today’s newspaper, or holding a household item like a toothbrush.  This is an easy and effortless way for the person to verify them.  If they are reluctant then alarm bells should be ringing.

Image searches

Some trolls steal images from other profiles so with the pictures you do have access to conducting an image search will reveal other places where that photo has appeared.

Social media stalking

You should also cross-reference any communication handles like an e-mail address or username with other social media accounts, especially if you have not found a full name yet.  For example, a Google search of my client's personal Instagram handle also yields their Tumblr account, as they share the username between the two.

Keep records of all of your communication

If you have done the above and ready to meet your new online friend, retain copies of all your communications in case something goes sour.

Meeting up

When you are arranging your rendezvous, the old standby of "meet in a public place" may not be an option, especially if you are selling a large item.  Always let a trusted friend or family member know where you are, and use a location app or service on your mobile phone so they can track your whereabouts if need be.  Online daters should definitely stick with meeting in a public place; and, have a familiar backup spot, too, in case your date tries to change the meet-up plan at the last minute.

Twenty years ago, meeting a person on the Internet was considered weird, even dangerous.  Today, our most important technological relationship is with our smartphones, we turn to online resources for almost everything, and meeting people online can be unavoidable.  In my experience, people usually turn out to be who they say they are.

Before you sacrifice your time and potentially your safety, it is wise to do a little vetting.